When I said I'd pray for you and Dan I bit off something I've never been able to properly chew in the past... The only times I've ever prayed with any fervor were strictly opportunistic--ie I was in a boatload of trouble, and prayed to every God I'd ever heard of, just in case one of them was right.  But even in those times, I knew I was just shucking corn, because I didnt really believe in any of them.  But a promise is a promise, and night before last, before bedtime, I tried again.  I tried to picture your basic Christian God, a single judging mind looking down upon us all, and I failed quite miserably.  I just simply dont buy it, I'm sorry.   The problem is that I can't believe in the single mind thing, and the thing I do believe in I don't have the imagination to personalise enough to pray to.  I just don't think it cares.  I think it doesnt perceive death, or take note of human suffering. So I was sitting in the back yard, thinking about you, and Dan, and love, and the way we cling to life, and fight for it,  and the sun was rising  and the light fell on a ripe red rose. It occurred to me to  pray to that, as a symbol of heartless, feckless beauty, and the limitless energy of nature and all things united.  I just sat there, focussed on the rose, like it was the only thing on this earth, saying "take care of these people, won't you?"  I dont know if it did you or Dan any good, but it felt like something.  I'm going to try again tomoorow.    Best of luck to you both, and please keep us informed.  I hope praying to flowers counts as a prayer.  I think it does.

yrs,

David