Pregnant woman, lying in bed, ten to midnight, gives her husband a dig in the ribs. He says, "What do you want?" She says, "Snails! I can't help it, I'm pregnant." So off he walks to the French restaurant, picks up a dozen snails and heads back up the road. Half-way home, he sees this woman's stopped with puncture, so he helps her fix it. In return, she asks if he'd like a lift home.
So in he gets, and she invites him back to her for a drink. One thing leads to another and he sleeps with her. Anyway, he wakes up at six in the morning with the light streaming through the window and he thinks, 'Oh my God, what have I done?'
So he jumps out of bed, gets dressed, runs downstairs, grabs the snails and runs home. And as he gets to the driveway, he drops the whole lot on the floor, just as the front door opens and his wife shouts, "Where the hell have you been?" So he looks at the snails, points at the front door and shouts, "Come on lads, we're nearly home."