Blood doping and performance enhancing drugs seen to be totally out of control on the Tour.

My first thought was "why not cancel the fucking thing for, say five years, and get it under control? All the current competitors will be past their prime and maybe testing will be more consistent by then.

Then I thought: Why not have a Tour de France with no rules? Anybody can ride or attempt to ride and drugs will be encouraged: crack, crank, pot, acid, scotch, testosterone, solvents, steroids, muscle relaxers, gin, and of course- because it's France- all water bottles would be full of an excellent pinot noir.

Of course there would be no helmets, and all participants would carry chains, tire irons, and straight razors to fend off encroaching competition.

It wouldn't be pretty but you have to admit it might be spectacular!