Graduates of the Ed Lorah School of Film Review
Reg
location: back to the wilderness
listening to: static
registered: 1999.11.22
posts: 6470
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This is a list of reviews gathered from Netflix...I don't think Ed actually had anything to do with these but you never know...--------------------Rent -- The opening song is great. (end review) The Ring Two -- One Ring too many.Final Destination 3 -- Not worth the plastic it's imprinted on. Planet of the Apes -- This movie sucks eggs.
Carlito's Way: Rise to Power -- A steaming turd with no resemblance whatsoever to Carlito's Way.
9 Songs -- 71 minutes I'll never get back.
The Jazz Singer -- Neil Diamond. 'Nuff said.
The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy -- This hitchhiker should have been murdered.
The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants -- My wife loved it. (Take that for whatever it's worth.)
The Dreamers -- Eva Green is hot but there's no penetration.
Must Love Dogs -- Must not rent.
The Transporter 2 -- Go back to France.
The Cave -- Should be dropped into one...
Freedomland -- Suck-fest.
This Film Is Not Yet Rated -- This film is not yet a real movie.
Catch a Fire -- Start by burning this dvd.
Altered -- Would be better if the alien didn't suck so much.
Gridiron Gang -- The real footage during the end credits is better than the whole movie. Half Nelson -- "A crack-addicted teacher/girls' basketball coach" hits too close to home.
Jesus Camp -- Awesome in a "watching a car wreck" sense.
Stranger than Fiction -- Will Ferrell reigned in = nice movie.
For Your Consideration -- Consider me unimpressed.
Infamous -- "I don't see what all the fuss is about."
Shortbus -- Watch this for the tattooed chick getting railed from behind. That, and the gay sex.Borat -- Nice. Please to rents this moviefilm disc.Private School -- Betsy Russell is hot. Otherwise, this school should be closed.
The Marine -- Should be given a dishonorable discharge. Rips off every 80s action flick...and badly at that.
The Descent -- If you're thinking about watching this alone...DON'T!
Quigley Down Under -- Great facial hair.
Cobra -- Crime is the disease. He's the cure. This film also cures any sensitivity to violence.
Koko: A Talking Gorilla -- (in David Puddy voice) "That chimp's alright. High five!"
Marilyn Hotchkiss Ballroom Dancing and Charm School -- The movie felt as long as the title.
Ask the Dust -- Salma Hayek gets totally naked...but it's not enough to save this slow if somewhat humorous period piece.
Resident Evil: Extinction -- Paul W.S Anderson needs to go extinct. Phantasm -- I'm a phan -- you should be, too.
Accepted -- Denied.
A Scanner Darkly -- A Movie Worthless.
Snakes on a Plane -- It bites.
Jackass: Number Two -- I never knew pooping and male genitalia were so funny. Watch it with someone you love.
World Trade Center -- Oliver Stone-Lite.
–--
'The only way to avoid getting crushed by absurdity, is to humbly include the absurd in our calculations.'
'The only way to avoid getting crushed by absurdity, is to humbly include the absurd in our calculations.'
Reg
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This is a list of reviews gathered from Netflix...I don't think Ed actually had anything to do with these but you never know...--------------------Rent -- The opening song is great. (end review) The Ring Two -- One Ring too many.Final Destination 3 -- Not worth the plastic it's imprinted on. Planet of the Apes -- This movie sucks eggs.
Carlito's Way: Rise to Power -- A steaming turd with no resemblance whatsoever to Carlito's Way.
9 Songs -- 71 minutes I'll never get back.
The Jazz Singer -- Neil Diamond. 'Nuff said.
The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy -- This hitchhiker should have been murdered.
The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants -- My wife loved it. (Take that for whatever it's worth.)
The Dreamers -- Eva Green is hot but there's no penetration.
Must Love Dogs -- Must not rent.
The Transporter 2 -- Go back to France.
The Cave -- Should be dropped into one...
Freedomland -- Suck-fest.
This Film Is Not Yet Rated -- This film is not yet a real movie.
Catch a Fire -- Start by burning this dvd.
Altered -- Would be better if the alien didn't suck so much.
Gridiron Gang -- The real footage during the end credits is better than the whole movie. Half Nelson -- "A crack-addicted teacher/girls' basketball coach" hits too close to home.
Jesus Camp -- Awesome in a "watching a car wreck" sense.
Stranger than Fiction -- Will Ferrell reigned in = nice movie.
For Your Consideration -- Consider me unimpressed.
Infamous -- "I don't see what all the fuss is about."
Shortbus -- Watch this for the tattooed chick getting railed from behind. That, and the gay sex.Borat -- Nice. Please to rents this moviefilm disc.Private School -- Betsy Russell is hot. Otherwise, this school should be closed.
The Marine -- Should be given a dishonorable discharge. Rips off every 80s action flick...and badly at that.
The Descent -- If you're thinking about watching this alone...DON'T!
Quigley Down Under -- Great facial hair.
Cobra -- Crime is the disease. He's the cure. This film also cures any sensitivity to violence.
Koko: A Talking Gorilla -- (in David Puddy voice) "That chimp's alright. High five!"
Marilyn Hotchkiss Ballroom Dancing and Charm School -- The movie felt as long as the title.
Ask the Dust -- Salma Hayek gets totally naked...but it's not enough to save this slow if somewhat humorous period piece.
Resident Evil: Extinction -- Paul W.S Anderson needs to go extinct. Phantasm -- I'm a phan -- you should be, too.
Accepted -- Denied.
A Scanner Darkly -- A Movie Worthless.
Snakes on a Plane -- It bites.
Jackass: Number Two -- I never knew pooping and male genitalia were so funny. Watch it with someone you love.
World Trade Center -- Oliver Stone-Lite.
–--
'The only way to avoid getting crushed by absurdity, is to humbly include the absurd in our calculations.'
'The only way to avoid getting crushed by absurdity, is to humbly include the absurd in our calculations.'
