A Doctor so blatantly bright he has a gravitational pull; some Nurses convey compassion in full; food service, housekeeping, and nurses that come & go, checking vitals every few hours or so. I probably haven’t said enough about these folks who are so critical now. & the teen’s mom from across the hall who visits everyday spreading warmth like a calling.

Thanks Cassie, thanks PJ, thanks Geno, Andrea, & Peter. Maya is sleeping calmly & I’m roaming hallways stopping every now & then to occupy a niche & read another chapter of The Kite Runner. Most nights I’ve slept off & on here in a chair by her bed but tonight I can’t rest my head. Jus being an occasional outlet is all we need from u dbis community, & you are that for the most part so thanks. The rest is what it is.

Tonight Maya received flowers from Eugene, Oregon (about three thousand miles away), ...and two beloved lady friends dropped-in with a replacement laptop for the one that went FUBAR the other day. …All this and a pretty good day mentally & physically, but the weekend nursing staff is more likely an example of those who are just working here; our preferred nurse has gone home for the weekend and the one now dropping in from time to time could be a hologram, void of compassion or rhyme, not volunteering much of anything whatsoever, and we can hear her pitching a bitch at the nurses station ever since she took over (some people you just know are un-happy in their space, even her voice is grating), so … I hope the night goes without fever or anything critical, so nursey-worsey can end her shift and go home to a bath & a good book or something.

…Hmm, fortune shines suddenly as the pleasant Nurse from Nepal has just come in (Namaste) to add antibiotics to Maya’s IV therapy, …maybe the other nurse went home sick ~ ironic.

…All in all, although it is a crucial sort of crunch time now, & we’re a family split down the middle for the 1st time ever, the boys at home (with grandma) and mom & pop way up here on the surrealistic set of Albert Brooks’ Defending Your Life, it feels like we’ve been stripped of our previous life in order to begin again anew. So … maybe we are and perhaps it’s for the best. Too early to really tell. Maybe we were getting too happy, and in need of a slap down. I know that I’m learning to be okay with so much lack of privacy; my extroversion button switched on lately, …when before I was leaning towards a semi-agoraphobic trend. & I can see it in her eyes that our priorities have tapered into an even smaller core set of values. I just don’t understand why cancer has assaulted the beautiful darling even-keeled mama & not the on-again-off-again frustrated dimestore pseudo-artist papa without a major cause. …Maybe I am not strong enough to persevere like maybe she is? Maybe the golden sunlight we revolve around needed to go a little out for us planets to recognize we were beginning to spin off our axes with undue distractions? Maybe it’s all just so dizzyingly random that all illogical theology is out the window? I do know I’m not the only one who loves this girl; she’s not short on love tendered.

If the spirit of Occam were here … he’d probably just say, “Hey, …shit happens.”

[Insert photo of the Sri Yantra here]

Lama Thubten Yeshe: “...each one of us is a union of all universal energy. Everything that we need in order to be complete is within us right at this very moment. It is simply a matter of being able to recognize it. This is the tantric approach.”