thanks V.

I never cease being blown-away by the endurance of matriarchal energies. Everything in this life I’ve ever complained about, still this girl gave birth twice, earns her way equally in a male-dominated commercial industry, warms us to the core with her every smile, and fights THIS fight that is about as ugly as anything I’ve seen depicted in flights of fantasy or film documented fact.  Last night in cold rain, talking to a good friend after a small-business seminar we had scheduled before all this began (penned-in and expected to attend, thus my bedside chair unattended last night; its okay, she slept well and we’re texting as I type this), & I was racking my brain (all this has finally gone maybe full circle [?] to some extent and now I’m sandwiched between acceptance/day-by-day and maybe admittedly a little vexation induced insanity) as to what could possibly be the point (if any cosmic point) of her being in her bedridden state of triage and me walking around in my state of triage?  Man, scares the shit out of me to think in any way spiritual lately.  Talk about your cosmic smack downs.  The notion of random occurrence is so much easier to stomach anymore.  And yet, can we, do we, have we, will we persevere?  Is that it?  Or is it something far more twisted, far more cause & effect in this 21^st Century science [fare] project?  Shudder to think its even more twisted than that!  Oh, Veronica, so much has changed for this arbitrary boy meets girl story.  But:  The teen boy across the hall with another form of Leukemia (not at home with his homies chasing sweet notions of trim and staking claims on the whatnot) is a perfect example of just how lucky she and I have been to reach 44 years mostly healthy, in love and in the excellent company of two able-bodied sons in relative comfort and inspiration.  Is that it?  Anyone of us … is one word away from what?  What perfect joy?  What immeasurable sorrow?  What a trip.       • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OllbKNKZpB0