thank you everyone for the suggestions, personal annecdotes and prayers.

very, very rough day mentally - even more pressure due to a new deadline. I was worn down by the time I got home.

I'll ride my bike to work tomorrow - it usually helps. Not looking forward to the morning as I know the gloom that is likely waiting for me. I will force myself out of bed and ride the bike.

I can't believe I bared my soul on a chatroom and I feel a bit guilty about it. It is so hard to see things positively right now and I hate it. Again, thank you so much for the replies. It means a lot to me