From 17-23, I was, I think legally a pharmacy with all the went behind the counter behind my eyeballs. It was a strange time. I was lucky enough to find a moment where I was fed up enough with things as they were and a brain that had the bio-chemical make-up that allowed me to have the resolve to stick with it. And that included the cousin of what Jefferson (related?) was talking about. I was fortunate to get away from the Peruvian marching powder free and clear. It was very hard and I didn't have anyone to help me. Not even sure now how I just stuck it out--obstinacy, likely.

Miss Winehouse's death is sad because she was a great singer when she wanted to be, could be. Just really fun, I thought. But maybe she didn't have the people she needed or maybe she did and couldn't listen. Whatever it was, to not live past 27 because of something I was lucky enough to get away from- -well, that just makes me very sad for her.

A person does have to want to make changes. And hopefully folks don't have to lose everything to get there. I've seen people lose their loved ones who split, homes, all of their friends to AIDS, their jobs. I have friends now who are, to my thinking, at the mercy of doctors who like to solve issues with pills. I have to avoid these things and want to. I have over the years been a big drinker at certain stages and this type of behaviour is much more widely accepted as a way to ax-scape but in the last 15 years, it's become much more widely accepted to just go and get an orange bottle of mood changer. It's advertised on 60 Minutes and the View and sports games--across the board. You never see beer ads on 60 Minutes!

It's easy to see where temptation and opportunity and the big shitestorm that is life for so many of us can make an addict stay an addict but it's often mysterious how the right tumblers fall for some people and they manage the combination out.