Diary entry

9/12/03

            Last night I had a dream that Osama, Saddam, and Whitey Bulger were sipping coffee in a Paris cafe and laughing about how they'd managed to dodge the authorities and move large quantities of cash around the globe unnoticed. All were giggling about how much they'd been enjoying retirement. Osama asked Saddam if he'd really moved all his WMD's to Libya before the American troops had arrived and Saddam laughed loud and hard.

"No, no. That was all what you American's call dirty tricks, eh Whitey. The Americans had been watching me for years. They had photos of everything including my colon. It would have been easier for me to ride my camel across the White House lawn than to move anything across that desert unnoticed. I envy Mr. Bush, his people accept what he says so easily. Without question. And he never has to gas them or make a violent spectacle to get them to accept his words. How does he do this Whitey?"

Whitey smiled and said "Well Sad, the thing is in America freedom means you obey the rules. You obey the rules and play the game you can have a house, a car, a wife and a couple of kids that'll eventually despise you. They call that The American Dream. You don't obey, they'll send men with guns to take you away and put you in a 6'x9' concrete box with bars."

Osama chimed in at this point and said "To Americans, ownership of anything equals success. To own is to be."

Whitey then leaned across the table and said "Have you guys seen my new watch? It's a Tag." and he stuck out his arm.  Both men leaned in to look and the waiter arrived to ask if they'd like anything else. As they all looked up from the watch the waiter was revealed to be Donald Rumsfeld. He was wearing pretty much standard waiter attire with the exception of one of those black Mickey Mouse caps with the ears.

 Saddam laughed loud again and shouted "Molotov cocktails for everyone, on me!" and proceeded to slap Rumsfeld on the ass. I woke suddenly in a cold sweat.

When I turned on the radio a voice was saying "...prior to 9/11 we inspected 2 of every 100 cargo containers that entered our nations shipping ports. That's 2. Do you know how many we inspect now, 2 years later? 2 of 100 that's how many! Now do you feel safe?"

 I quickly snapped off the radio. I didn't feel safe. I felt confused and lost. I didn't know if it was cargo containers or Mickey Mouse ears or what the hell it was but I was very shook up. I showered and dressed and walked to the coffee shop. I sat down in a corner by the window and began reading the paper. There was a photo of a cargo container on page 5. I put the paper down. I heard someone saying a few tables away that they were going to Disney World. I rubbed my eyes. Was I still dreaming?  

"Hey Doc! Did you watch the Dem's debate?" someone shouted at me. I looked up and it was Harry The Hoax. He had earned this name because it was always so easy to put something over on him. Before I could answer somebody said "Yeah, Sharpton won!" and  laughed hysterically. Harry bought it of course and they began to go back and forth. 

     A truck rolled by outside hauling a pair of cargo containers. As it passed I thought I saw Al Sharpton enter the barber shop across the street. I've got to call Winston I thought and tell him we need to go to Seattle.