I'm off to Hawaii on Saturday for a week. Pity me. Here's a joke to tide you over 'til I return:

A Washington DC lobbyist, after a long and busy day, leaves the office and hits the Beltway. A couple of miles into his commute traffic grinds to a complete halt; backed up for as far as he can see. After awhile a police officer wanders by and the lobbyist inquires about the delay.

"Well", says the cop, "the President's motorcade was on its way to the airport when the President had a complete nervous breakdown. He's suicidal and on top of his limosine threatening to douse himself with gasoline and set himself on fire.He says that no one believes him about the reasons for invading Iraq, everyone thinks his tax cuts were only to benefit his rich friends, and his "No Child Left Behind" program is a dismal failure. Everyone here in the traffic jam is taking up a collection for him."

"How much have you collected so far?" asks the lobbyist.

"About forty gallons" says the cop, "but a lot of people are still siphoning."