Well, sit down son, lemme tell you a tale, bout a man with a heart like a goddamn whale! Fists like turkeys, arms like legs, a crapped-out Stetson crammed on his head. And everybody called him mister, til the day they shot him dead, that was it! For Crazy Ernie!. Your granddaddy Ernie was a crazy old coot, liked to dig in the fields in his sunday suit, made moonshine whiskey with a cyanide root, they shot him one Sunday from the church house roof! That was it, for Crazy Ernie!