Lists like the one you posted and the one I'm about to...don't help...but - I love trying to figure out what you gals think and why... Here's my list - I don't agree with it - but here... Here's my equally and opposite bogus list... "We always hear the rules from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. Please note these are all numbered on purpose! [women think of 'we', men think of 'me' - went out with a girl who believed that]

1. Breasts are for looking at and that is why we do it. Dont try to change that.(I have my own version of this - the day I stop looking at women, is the day I stop looking at you - no one buys it, Idunno why)

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If its up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down. (Not worth complaining about negates this rule)

1. Sunday = sports. Its like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be. (Sunday's a family day - my schedule)

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: - Subtle hints do not work! - Strong hints do not work! - Obvious hints do not work! - JUST SAY IT!

1. "Yes" and "No" are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. Thats what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

1. If you think youre fat, you probably are. Dont ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. - Not both. - If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials. (or we shouldn't be watching this shit)

1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and neither do we. (fuck it, I do - I want to get where I'm going)

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. - Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. - Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is. (who cares?!?!?!? - You can have it - I won't let you paint my car)

1. If it itches down there, it will be scratched. We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothingfs wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you dont want an answer to, expect an answer you dont want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine, REALLY.

1. Dont ask us what were thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as: - Sex, - Sport, or - Cars

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes. (I've never dated a woman to whom this could apply - but they must be out there).

1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.

Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know, men really dont mind that, its like camping."

Everyone, if you're really interested in seeing the underside of thought or relations - check out craigslist.org 'best of' some of it's insightful...some? I meant a little...

Most women I know, don't like to hear the word bitch, it's a noun, and a verb, but use it regularly, anyway...bitch has less syllables than masculated, or milquetoast and when men use it - it's equally applicable to either gender...but since this was light-hearted,

http://shadowdane.shackspace.com/cats_files/trash.jpg

http://shadowdane.shackspace.com/cats_files/bike.jpg

http://shadowdane.shackspace.com/cats_files/shower.jpg I love...cats...I don't know why we're always trying to put words in their heads.