“Perhaps, when we remember wars, we should take off our clothes and paint ourselves blue and go on all fours all day long and grunt like pigs. That would surely be more appropriate than noble oratory and shows of flags and well-oiled guns.
“I do not mean to be ungrateful for the fine, martial show we are about to see ~~ and a thrilling show it really will be . . .”
He looked each of us in the eye, and then he commented very softly, throwing it away, “And hooray say I for thrilling shows.”
We had to strain our ears to hear what Minton said next.
“But if today is really in honor of a hundred children murdered in war,” he said, “is today a day for a thrilling show?
“The answer is yes, on one condition: that we, the celebrants, are working consciously and tirelessly to reduce the stupidity and viciousness of ourselves and of all mankind.”
He unsnapped the catches on his wreath case.
“See what I have brought?” he asked us.
He opened the case and showed us the scarlet lining and the golden wreath. The wreath was made of wire and artificial laurel leaves, and the whole was sprayed with radiator paint.
The wreath was spanned by a cream-colored silk ribbon on which was printed, “PRO PATRIA.”
Minton now recited a poem from Edgar Lee Masters’ the Spoon River Anthology, a poem that must have been incomprehensible to the San Lorenzans in the audience ~~ and to H. Lowe Crosby and his Hazel, too, for that matter, and to Angela and Frank.
I was the first fruits of the battle of Missionary Ridge.
When I felt the bullet enter my heart
I wished I had staid at home and gone to jail
For stealing the hogs of Curl Trenary,
Instead of running away and joining the army.
Rather a thousand times the county jail
Than to lie under this marble figure with wings,
And this granite pedestal
Bearing the words, “Pro Patria.”
What do they mean, anyway?
“What do they mean anyway?” echoed Ambassador Horlick Minton. “They mean, ‘For one’s country.’” And he threw away another line. “Any country at all,” he murmured.
“This wreath I bring is a gift from the people of one country to the people of another. Never mind which countries. Think of people. . . .
“And children murdered in war . . .
“And any country at all.
“Think of peace.
“Think of brotherly love.
“Think of plenty.
“Think of what a paradise this world would be if men were kind and wise.
“As stupid and vicious as men are, this is a lovely day,” said Ambassador Horlick Minton. “I, in my own heart and as a representative of the peace-loving people of the United States of America, pity lo Hoon-yera Mora-toorz tut Zamoo-cratz-ya for being dead on this fine day.”
And he sailed the wreath off the parapet.
There was a hum in the air. The six planes of the San Lorenzan Air Force were coming, skimming my lukewarm sea. They were going to shoot the effigies of what H. Lowe Crosby had called “practically every enemy that freedom ever had.”
(Excerpted from Cat’s Cradle)
