I don't think there is any why, life is just chaos and we try to give it some sort of reason and order so we feel like we are dealing with it. The truth is when the gate opens and the bull takes off that's what you do...hold on for all you're worth. Truths do then become self-evident, you know that you can only hold on to the bull for so long, that you will end up in the dirt, and that once the bull throws you a whole new set of problems present themselves. Like getting up out of the dirt and the hell away from that bull in a big hurry. People talk a lot about "living life in the moment" but the talk is really a bunch of shit until you come face to face with that moment. That's the hard part about talking about any of this, I know you and your family are in the moment and I know what I would be like if I was in your shoes. Words would be about as useful to me then as train tickets would be to a school of dolphins.

So all I want to do is make you laugh or think about something else because I feel like it is sort of like yelling to the bull rider while he is riding the bull...he might hear you but really he does not have time for your shit at that particular moment. You also know if somebody else is watching and hearing you yelling quotes from Epictetus at the bull rider they are going to think you are seriously out of your tits! Like who does this guy think he is? Does a bull rider want to hear fucking philosophy while he's hanging on to an animal that is trying to throw him so it can gore and stomp him to death? I mean if he does he is one fucking far out bull rider.

All I got here, man, is this weird fucking cyber hug thing and I know that's not much and I know I'm a weird fucking guy and probably some of the shit I write here makes no sense or people don't know what it means but I'm honest and what I'm trying to say in my weird fucking way is I just want her to be ok and you and the boys to be able to dance and sing with your gal again. Every other thing is just details and not worth worrying about.

So hold on and I'll stand here acting like an ass for your amusement and you can be the far out bull rider that laughs when I yell "We are disturbed not by events, but by the views which we take of them!" because you know I'm just doing it to make you laugh...and so you know I'm here...somewhere...and what I really mean is hold on...