Hello, let me introduce myself. I'm Dr. Wahoo Capybara. Yes, that is my real name. I'm announcing here my candidacy for President of the United States. First, I'd like to come right out with the fact that...yes...I am a jiveass. I'd also like to be upfront with the fact that I do inhale and would, given the chance, have sex in the White House. I'm not married so if ever I did have an intern go down on me I would not lie to the American public about it. I'm funding my campaign with money I've made operating a tattoo parlor in the south of France and some other business ventures I'm involved with in South America. South America is also where I've made my home for quite some time. Yes...I'm a bit of an expatriate. I actually live on a small island off the coast of the Tierra Del Fuego portion of South America called Isla Noir. I do make frequent trips back to the good old U S of A for supplies...lest you think I'm out of touch with what goes on there. I am disappointed with the country these days. It seems that over the last 20 years the media has really upped the ante on the glorification of violence. It also seems that although there are more coalitions, foundations, and other such "POLITICALLY CORRECT" groups lobbying for racial equality the chasm grows ever wider. Building a separatist, consumerist society seems to be the goal these days. Doesn't anyone want to turn off their TV set and open their minds and hearts to the world around them and their fellow human beings anymore? Why does the media image seem to indicate that it's more acceptable to kill than to have sex? Is that because you actually have to interact with a fellow human being to have sex with them but it's a fairly impersonal act to just go out and blow someone away. Hell you don't even have to touch them or talk to them to do that! Before you begin talking about gun control how about a little people control. Maybe sex is still such a taboo subject there because the media knows you can't pay attention to them while you're having sex!!! And they do want you to pay attention to them don't they? Come on now...the six O'clock news these days is all about scaring the hell out of you so you'll stay in your little home in front of your little glowing box and watch the rest of their programs and sponsers ads. So when you do go out it's only to buy all the crap they told you you need. Paddy Chayefsky may be dead but you're not! I don't think the problem is single mothers or alternative lifestyles or gun control...It's that the U S of A these days is all about being bought and sold...Who's buying and who's selling...The land of the free and home of the brave is overrun with hucksters. Get up, go out there and start interacting with your fellow Americans. And I don't mean on this damn internet world wide web further distortion of the truth. I mean face to face. Create a sense of community. Teach your children to be human beings by showing them through your actions how to be human beings. Then maybe they will grow up and grow old with the good sense to know that human life is more valuable than a Lexus. That you can learn more from a few moments of looking into someones eyes than you'll ever learn in a lifetime of staring at a box. Yes, governments are generally evil because politicains are front men for the corporations that are footing the bill and they know they damn well better say the right thing and get out of the way when they're told to do so. But they also count on...hell prey on the fact that they have ingrained in you a sense of hopelessness...a feeling that your tiny voice...your one little vote does not matter and will never count...that you can't change things...and when they've sold you that...then they have won. You've not heard the last from Dr. Wahoo Capybara. Thank you.