I, Satan Puppet now announce my candidacy.  It is clear that I, Satan Puppet, can defeat the likes of Cthulu!!!  Ask yourself, who is more mythical?  I think you will see that I, Satan Puppet, am now ready to lead you all in dark chains to that place where you will suffer the burning while I, Satan Puppet, rest comfortably on the hand of the true dark lord.

After all, it was I, Satan Puppet, who engineered the current situation in which many itchy people find themselves facing fanatical robots in their pants!  They do my bidding, those tiny robots, and of course I, Satan Puppet, am ready (if elected) to do the bidding of whatever current dark lord has his hand up my (Satan Puppet's) behind.

So vote for me, Satan Puppet!!!

Sincerely,

Satan Puppet

PS:  I, Satan Puppet, look less like Cheney than that other guy!