Icon Maybe the Funniest Lawsuit ever
R
Rogertick (view)

I can't say how exactly this fits into the DSIS but gosh darn it I was laughing out loud.
Throw in a Jim Nabors refrence as the cherry on top.
 
 
Lawsuit Claims Liza Battered David
1 hour, 1 minute ago

By Joal Ryan

Life with Liza Minnelli, estranged husband David Gest says, was a pain--a "constant," "throbbing," "unrelenting" pain in the head. Among other reputedly injured body parts.

WARNING: Image embedded by poster.
News: Liza and David lawsuits dropped
News: Liza, David are splitsville
News: Liza's rehab checkup

WARNING: Image embedded by poster. ‘Photo’
E! Online Photo

 

Gest's allegations are contained in a $10 million lawsuit filed Tuesday in New York, which accuses his bride of less than two years of vodka-fueled domestic violence.

Minnelli's rep told the Associated Press on Tuesday that the Oscar-, Emmy-, Tony-, Grammy-winning entertainer had not seen the court papers (posted in all their gory on The Smoking Gun), and had no comment.

Minnelli, 56, and Gest, 50, were wed in the media circus of the century on March 16, 2002. They announced their separation in July.

In the complaint, Gest depicts himself as a "world renown event and concert producer-promoter" who was henpecked--make that, henslammed--by an "alcoholic, overweight" has-been.

He alleges the onetime Cabaret pixie pummeled him in the head and body throughout their relationship, forcing him to seek neurological treatment and leaving him with vertigo, severe headaches, high-blood pressure and "scalp tenderness," among other maladies.

"The alcohol gave her remarkable force and strength," the complaint says.

Gest details a half-dozen dates, from a December 2001 chauffeured Mercedes ride in which Minnelli reputedly downed a bottle of red wine en route to rehab, to a supposed blowup last June in which she allegedly chugged vodka during a Chinese take-out run.

Perhaps the most salacious allegations concern the reputed June attack, in which Gest has Minnelli "running erratically" around the couple's London hotel room, throwing a lamp, throwing punches, and sounding like Bette Davis (news) in The Star.

"I have no friends," Minnelli shouted to the couple's security guard, the complaint alleges. "My husband is using me to be [a] star. I am the star."

Prior to Minnelli's March entry into rehab (not to be confused with the pre-wedding stint in December 2001), the complaint says, the singer beat up Gest in the bathroom of their New York apartment "until he ran into the other room."

Gest, who says he never threw a counter-punch, claims the June incident was the worst of the attacks that caused him with "severe" and "long-term" injuries. The complaint says Gest has endured hospitalizations, an MRI and a CAT scan. It says he's under doctors' orders not to travel, and to keep his pain in check with 11 prescription medications.

Since the split, the two have holed up on opposite coasts, with Minnelli mainly keeping to Manhattan, and Gest reputedly hanging at Jim Nabors (news)' Hawaiian estate.


–--
“Stupidity has a certain charm - ignorance does not” - Zappa - Yeah you know who you are.
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