Oh, I wouldn't worry about the Barbie thing...even if it is real.  But if you think Spell Casting Wicca Barbies are a problem, how 'bout these Gems.

Radical Religious Right Barbie:  Beautiful and shapely, she wears sensible shoes as if that will cover up for her voracious appetite for sex.  Of course, it's business as usual at The First Seething Church of God's Infernal Hatred where she's the Choir Director.  Comes with miniature leatherette bound bible, reading glasses so she can look down at her neighbors and a sign for next Thursday's Membership Drive that reads, "God Hates Fags."

Southern Fried Dean Supporter Barbie:  Just like last years Southern Fried Bush Barbie with cammo Carhart short shorts and jacket.  Buy now and get the Barbie Ford F-150 Dream Truck in two tone Pink and Primer Grey.  Miniature "Dale, Jr." and "The South Will Rise Again" stickers on the rear glass.  She's usually pretty far right but her new boyfriend, "Southern Democrat Ken" is putting on that gentle persuasion with his miniature years subsciption of the Utne Reader and preprogrammed NPR shows on the stereo.  He drinks bottled water!  He's so Elevated!

Definately Agnostic Barbie!  Here she comes, although she doesn't know exactly where she's going.  Firmly undecided about the great beyond in Nihlist-Black oversized sweater and Mao-Tse-Wow Khaki Capris.  She's wearing Birkinstocks but she's not Bi! Or is she?  Comes with coupon to Starbucks for a double tall americano. (Complete the set and buy, Bi-Polar English Major Kellie and Spends-His-Student-Loans-to-Follow-the-Dave-Matthew's-Band Ken)

Alt. Country Purist Barbie:  That's it baby, she's Countrier-Than-Thou in her Wilco T-Shirt and her completely Restored 68 Impala.  She'd spit in Shania's eye if she ever got close enough.  Free temporary tatoos of Neko Case and Jeff Tweedy for you, tiny case of Pabst Blue Ribbon for her.

I'm sorry...I left the track.

PRH