Some holdiay thoughts for everyone...
Enjoy yourselves, don't over eat, glad to know Gene will be avoiding the absinithe, be careful if you're traveling.
Mick, since they don't celebrate this little American holiday in the shire...just go shave your feet, put on your favorite thong and take the wife out dancing.
Dale, moose really is not a traditional holiday meal, not matter what those ol' downeasters say.
EEE, may your dream to one day give Al Franken a hug and a kiss on the cheek come true.
Peter, the next meeting of our communist brothers is in Portland, Maine. You might want to remove that commie flag from the front of your house just for Thanksgiving day. I know it kills you man but some folks do get offended. Oh, and put away your posters of Castro...it's just one day.
Andrea...well...I hope the good people of Florida someday actually learn how to read a ballot. You could dedicate some of your time to teaching those folks not to leave their chads just hanging like that. It's obscene after all. The way they just let them dangle in the breeze down there. And don't try and tell me it's the warm weather.
Dano...stop hogging all the Baerwald goodies and start this distribution process before we have to send Mick and PRH to hold you down while Gene pours absinthe down your gob, and takes video of you singing along to all your favorite 80's teenage girl songs...we know you have Tiffany records in your damn collection...along with your "The Brady Bunch Sings" albums...Your mom told Mick all about the Shaun Cassidy posters in your room too.
Pat, if you don't start behaving around here we're going to show everyone the photos of you dressed up as Ann Coulter. Not to mention your doll collection.
Rogertick...just so you know Dale's been sending copies of all your posts to a special PO box Dick Cheney set up for "People Who Should Get A Full Body Cavity Search Anytime They Get Within Ten Miles Of An Airport"...what Dale doesn't know is that you have a full body cavity search fetish...enjoy bro!
To any one that's exchanges private e-mail with Kent...you are also on Dick's list...by the way Dale, when Kent asked for my e-mail I gave him yours...hope you don't have to get on a plane soon.
Of course Kent...don't go near the windows...they are out there right now watching...
Ed Lorah...umm...well I hope you get your chance to meet Al Franken before EEE because after ol' Triple E's done smooching and hugging poor little Al, I'm sure Mr. Franken will be tightening up security for any more encounters with his...ahhh...fans.
Stark Raving Brad has been asked to join a reunion tour of the Average White Band. Although they have now changed the name of the band to The Below Average Pastey Faced Folically Challenged Washed Up Has Beens...Well, what the hell do they know anyway...for god's sakes what are a bunch of Scottish guys doing trying to be funky...Brad will wear a kilt the entire tour...good luck Brad...
IdleMind...you're a new guy...cool...you know Sean Penn has a temper right? Well, now he's also got your address. Happy Thanksgiving dude. You're gonna like trying to eat that turkey leg with no teeth.
To Pat's friend Chris...I just finished reading your post...I'm happy to say I no longer need perscription drugs for my insomnia.
Just so you know Kravitz...you can't make a necklace of turkey ears...they don't have ears...so put away your exacto knife...you've frightened the children...are you happy now?
Now, we do have some very nice people in Australia that visit the Baerwald Board and I'd just like to let you know that Kravitz is coming to visit your wonderful country and he's discovered that kangaroo's have ears. Please notify the proper authorities.
To Robert...be careful man...Gene might not be a drunk but he is dangerous...trust me on this. Read his medical degree...it says he graduated from the "Canadian School Of Doctorin' Eh"...
Kevin in Arizona you need to take a damn day off from buying cd's...and post more when your drunk will ya!
Of course I don't want to leave out the wonderful Mr. Baerwald himself...ahh, have you noticed man that the folks who like your music are a little...ahh...strange...I'm not sure if that reflects on you or not but you might want to meditate on that a little. Oh, of course after reading that little book of yours you posted on-line you're not so well adjusted now either are you...you should be thankful you've got a woman in your life that puts up with you...
I myself am just thankful you're all weird enough to make me feel at home here...and I wrote all of this while wearing a big ol' turkey costume...to celebrate the holiday I'm traveling around to different super markets with some friends who will be throwing buckets of red paint on me and screaming "Murderers!" at everyone who comes out of the store with a turkey. It was either that or volunteer to feed the homeless and this seemed like a better idea. Well, Peter told me it was the best way to protest...wearing a turkey suit I mean...
If I left anyone out I'm sorry but I'm tired of writing this nonsense and for christ's sake I shouldn't have to do all the work...make something up yourselves for a change damn it!
