All, this ranting about Kent is exactly what Gene wants! In the meantime, he's posting sexually explicit descriptions of his cocktails to seduce us all! Kevin from Arizona posting drunk was no accident! Don't you see, Gene is not just a doctor he's a master of mind control and manipulation. The evil son of bitch has been hammering us with quotes from Bukowski and Burrows not because he actually likes their literature...he's trying to destroy us! It's pretty damn obvious. You don't read Bukowski with Gordon Lightfoot on the freakin' stereo! Gene is obvioulsy bullshitting us and he's more the Agatha Christy drinking his damn tea with a pinky in the air type. Come on you can see it right? That picture he drew of "Gordy" was obviously a self portrait of Gene in his true demon form!
Haven't you all noticed that your alcohol consumption has skyrocketed? It's Gene I'm telling you he's in our heads! Do you know how humiliating it is to do your grocery shopping with what looks like a giant Hershey's Kiss on your head? But it's the only way to keep him out...wrap your head in foil or hide under some power lines. That's how to block his transmissions.
I was banned for my local market because I splashed Chianti all over a check out girl while sceaming "In the name of Bartles & James and the Holy Chivas Regal I baptize you my child!"...actually I think they could have lived with that it was when I began to lick it off and talk about my Canadian Club that they got upset. Anyway...
He's even taken over my dreams. I keep dreaming about swimming in this giant martini glass while Mick looks on from above...he's on a swing and dressed in full leprechaun garb, playing bass and shouting out filthy limericks in perfect time to egg on Dale....who's down below the giant glass having...ahh relations...with an olive, and the olive is not too impressed with his work...when suddenly Kravitz runs in wearing a thong made of pig's ears and starts trying to wrestle the olive away from an obviously deeply disturbed Dale. Then Gene appears surrounded by a mist or is it smoke from the Britney Spears shaped bong he keeps hitting...and I can't stop staring at the bong and I want the bong but I can't get out of the giant pool of Bombay Sapphire...then Gene starts laughing and laughing and laughing and it drowns out the sound of Mick and his bass and filthy limericks and I wake up screaming. I know it all sounds like the new Don Henley video or something but seriously this is the kind of stuff Gene is trying to put in our heads.
Kent has been trying to help us! To make us see the light! He's the only one that knows how to combat the dark forces Gene has been gathering. Gruno you fool...didn't you notice that Gene's name begins with the letter 'E' which also happens to be the first letter in the word EVIL? And EVIL is just DEVIL without the D and GorDon Lightfoot and Don Henley are obviously part of Gene's minions because they have D's in their names and are both prone to writing weepy nostalgic overlong ballads.
"The Wreck Of The Edmund Fitzgerald" and "Hotel California" are full of subliminal messages that Gene has been using to brainwash society with...and I bet you didn't know that Gene has been controling Pat for years and forcing Pat to write books under his pen name "Ann Coulter" and that Dale has the largest collection of Ann Coulter books on the east coast and still gets all weepy and emotional whenever he reads "Treason" or watches "Breakfast At Tiffany's"...see that's why Gene is making Pat do this profile thing because he's collecting more information on us so he can better control us...
Jesus, does anyone know how to get red wine stains out of a white carpet?
