Mick is always funny...and as my partner in outing crazed lizards I could not bear reporting to work with him if he loses. Plus, he'll be bitching the whole while we hack that lizard sympathizing shitbag Gruno to bits and he won't help me vaporize the remains when we're done and really that's a two man job. It's bad enough that he's bitchy all morning till he get's his afternoon pint and really hobbits are freakin' touchy enough due to the whole height complex and all. Plus, you ever been kicked in the balls by a drunken pissed off hobbit after a long day of choppin' up lizards...I can tell you it's not pleasant and if you have any sympathy for me at all you'll vote for the bastard.

  Sure he's short and he smells funny and he was always a terrible burden on his poor parents but really you grow to like him...more so when he's loaded. Plus hobbits know where to find all the best grass...you know to keep your peace pipe full. So do me a goddamn favor and vote Mick.

  And just to set the record straight I was using my woman as a human shield in that photo. I was trying to protect myself from a group of French anarchists who were trying to force me to vote to ban Nouvelle Beaujolais day and to support a law that said they have too much vacation time. One of them was wielding a mighty scary slice of brie.

  I will say though that Kravitz' "Pig's Ear" story was the best piece of dark humor this board has ever seen. It left me sitting there like the Bill Murray character in "The Royal Tenenbaum's" shaking my head, smiling, and muttering "So bizarre."

I think most of us would still vote Kravitz as the Baerwald Board member we'd least like to be left alone with.