The linked article at the bottom of this long, rambling post planted an idea in my head last week that I’m still not sure about, but here goes…(bear with me)

As the first anniversary of the tragic events of September 11th approaches, I've been somewhat taken aback by the plethora of recent 9/11 eulogies and anthems being put out by songwriters. Bruce, Paul, Toby, Steve and Neil (and a gazillion others I suspect) have all penned new songs dedicated to that day. But (and as the article suggests) for some reason, none of these have moved me significantly enough that I would consider them an anthem song, at least not for myself. It's not that any of them are bad songs either. It's just that they aren't what I was listening to during the time immediately following the attacks. The music that I WAS listening to is what became my personal 9/11 anthems - if you want to call it by that term.

Like most people, I was in a state of shock immediately following 9/11. For me, it developed into a fairly steep depression that lasted for some 2 months or so. I was really in a funk. I had friends and coworkers in New York who were directly affected and the pain that some of them were going through had a potent impact on my own psyche. Having been there too at the time, I also couldn't stop thinking about how the events of that day had unfolded and the chaos that had ensued.

In the first couple of weeks immediately following, I really couldn't listen to any music at all. Radio stations, as you may recall, were very careful about not offending people (all the media outlets were like this), so the songs they were playing generally could not be construed as having anything at all to do with 9/11. I understood this reaction, except that that day was ALL I was thinking about at the time. I just left the radio off. I tried to find something in my own CD collection (a fairly large one) that would give me some sense of understanding, maybe a little solace, but nothing worked for me. When I put Triage in the changer and “Nobody” came on however, I was immediately snapped back to a tiny moment of that morning that I had forgotten about (I do realize that I’m repeating myself here, from my very first post). It was a brief thought that I had in passing that morning while watching a bunch of cops who were dealing with that horrible situation. Now, it was a week or two later and hearing “Nobody” was very eerie for me, but it made perfect sense too. The song suddenly took on new meaning for me because I had personally witnessed the character from it – a frustrated cop. In fact, I watched about 20 or 30 frustrated cops that morning and my thought at the time had come directly from the song…"who am I working for, who do I protect?". The thing is, to this day I have no idea why that little string of words had entered my fucked up head. I didn’t give it any more thought at the time though, or even what song it came from because I wasn't thinking about music at all. The thought passed about as quickly as it came. But now, while listening to “nobody” for the first time since, I was suddenly reminded. That’s about when I showed up on this board for the first time I believe.

In the weeks to follow, "Nobody" became my first 9/11 “anthem” song and I played it several times after that initial reaction. The more I did, the more personal it became for me. There was a new meaning that I was attaching to it - even though I knew full well that it wasn’t written about 9/11 (how could it have been?). As I listened to the rest of Triage, a couple of other songs started to make a lot of sense with regard to those events too. "The Postman" and "Secret Silken World" in particular. The lyrics in those songs began to resonate in a brand new way for me. Up until then, I wasn’t so naïve as to not understand what they were saying, or what they were about, but now, all of a sudden they cut like a razor.

While pondering this enlightenment, I remembered too that I had purchased Triage some years prior because of my fondness for Kevin Gilbert’s music and I had discovered David’s affiliation with him (yes I know, I’ve recently spoken about this too). So, I put several of Kevin’s CDs in the player with Triage and began to realize that between those two songwriters, there was a whole catalog of anthem songs – at least they were to me. All were written long before and not about 9/11, yet each one of them brought me to a better understanding of the event itself and offered up a whole different perspective that I probably would have otherwise missed (had this whole chain of events not occurred). On Saturday, October 6th I had an epiphany – it was time to rip a CD. You know, one of those compilation discs/tapes that we all make for ourselves from time to time that has some kind of affect on us personally, and isn’t generally made for anyone else? So, during one of the lowest points of my life, I set about making my own 9/11 anthem disc – featuring Kevin and David.

Whew, after that long winded and torturous discourse, I finally come to the point of my post. In light of the fact that September 11th is nearly upon us, and in an effort to offer a fitting tribute in memory of that day, it occurred to me that perhaps that CD might have significance for others beside myself. I thought that maybe, if it’s ok with David, and if I wouldn’t be breaking any laws, that I should make available to the people active on this board, a copy of this 9/11 compilation. I’m willing to do this mostly because I’m very appreciative of the camaraderie that I have felt here – in spite of the occasional riffs. Also, I’d like to pass on some of Kevin’s music to those that aren’t as familiar with it as they might be with David’s. I have enough materials (and time) to make about 25 copies and would like to make them available, free of charge of course, to the first 25 people that ask for one.

So, David, what do you think? Is this something that will draw fire from attorneys, photographers, other artists involved? More importantly, would this be at all inappropriate in your eyes? Personally, I have mixed feelings about it because I made this thing for myself during a time I’d prefer to not relive, but it was also a time I won’t be able to forget – the disc was made only to be my personal salve. I never intended to distribute it, but it is my humble opinion that no other songwriters to date have approached the problems (greed, power, arrogance etc) surrounding 9/11 as well as you and Kevin did a long time ago. Those problems have been around forever as we all know and the attacks were a culmination that made many people, including myself, finally aware. These were the things I was thinking about as my grief began to subside last October. I’m fairly certain others were feeling roughly the same way and I’d like to be able to let them try this salve when those memories get re-hashed again in a month or so, another year or so and so on and so on…

I call the compilation, simply enough, 911. The image below is of the CD inserts (front and back). The CD itself has the same image on it as the back insert. This was a photo that I took shortly after exiting Penn Station on the evening of September the 12th while riding a speeding Amtrak bound for home. It’s not a great photo, but it’s an image that’s burned in my mind forever. I’m not worried about copyright infringement on that – I own it. The front image is another story altogether however. It’s obviously a blatant (and manipulated) copy of the Triage cover. I’m not sure if I can get away with copying this, nor am I certain I can make copies of Kevin’s or David’s music though both camps seem to be amicable to it if it’s given away, which it will be.

So everyone, if David gives me the green light, I will post my personal email address and at that point you can commence to ask for your own copy of 911. That is if you’re interested…I realize that some of you probably already have all of this music already.

All of these songs came from just 3 CDs, Triage, Toy Matinee and Thud. These were the songs that I wove together in a fashion that appealed to me for various reasons at the time. Your mileage may vary. It’s heavily weighted with Gilbert tunes, but so many of his songs just seemed to hit the nail so squarely on the head (again, to me) that I kept adding them in.

The tracklist is as follows:

Kevin Gilbert – Goodness Gracious (Thud) David Baerwald – Nobody (Triage) David Baerwald – The Postman (Triage) Kevin Gilbert - Last Plane Out (Toy Matinee) David Baerwald – A Secret Silken World (Triage) Kevin Gilbert – All Fall Down (Thud) Kevin Gilbert – The Tears of Audrey (Thud) Kevin Gilbert – Song For A Dead Friend (Thud) Kevin Gilbert – Joytown (Thud) Kevin Gilbert – Waiting (Thud) Kevin Gilbert – We Always Come Home (Toy Matinee)

Thanks David and Kevin for helping me to maintain my sanity through a very difficult time, and thanks to the rest of you for reading all the way to this point.

Over and Out,

Marc

Here's the article that made me want to do this...