Dear People of Iraq,

We are very sorry but due to a catastrophe of undescribable proportions we will need to bring our troops and their suppliers home to help the people of Louisiana, Alabama and Mississippi. We hope you understand. All the best.

                          Or

Dear People of  Louisiana, Alabama and Mississippi,

For those of you who are homeless, jobless and feel that there is no way out, join the Armed Forces. You can then help out another country and have, if not a roof over your head, at least some food and water and clothing. See your local recruiter today!