Hey Messybear. Your last 2 posts really moved me. I'm sorry for your loss - Digs sounded like a great friend.

I watched a program on ABC on Monday night called Australian Story. It's an excellent series that looks at lives of extraordinary Australian people (some well-known to the general public, others quiet achievers). This week the subject was an actor named Samuel Johnson and how his life had been torn apart by suicide(s).

I've attached a link to the transcript, in case you're interested:

http://www.abc.net.au/austory/content/2007/s2257249.htm

I was reminded of one of his comments after reading your posts:

"As with most suicides there’s, there was no warning; it just happened. You know, if any of us could have picked it we would have done our all to try and prevent it. When someone takes their own life, you know, you live forever without any of those questions getting answered, like why. And you have to come to terms with the fact that there’s no single answer. I have to respect the decision they make. You know, I don’t think it’s weak or gutless, you know, to leave your loved ones. I think it’s very hard to do that. That’s just how I feel. There's a lot of other people that feel differently about it. Ultimately I've just got to accept what’s happened and realise that I'll never get the answers to those questions. Life’s full of questions that you don’t get answered so, you know, let them be among them".

Go easy on yourself - you're one of the good guys....