Icon Crazed Serial Killer Stalks Joggers in Pacific Northwest
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A warning has been issued to all joggers, hikers, and anyone that uses trails or remote areas in the Pacific North West. It is believed that a killer is stalking trails in the area and dismembering his victims. Several feet have washed ashore over recent months all wearing sneakers or running shoes. A strange message has been found in each shoe typed on brown paper and sealed in small plastic bags. The paper appears to be torn from ordinary grocery store bags. The message reads "All work & no play makes me a dull boy. I love my Husqvarna and I'm coming for you, Pat!"

Police are baffled as to what this all means.
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'The only way to avoid getting crushed by absurdity, is to humbly include the absurd in our calculations.'
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