Tha' is truly magnanimous of ye.

An oldie but goodie:

Twas the night of the king's castration
They were throwing a royal ball...his left one
The king cried out, not because he had to, but because he had TWO
"Balls" cried the Queen "For if I'd two I'd be king"
The counts, discounts, and noaccounts were seated squarely about the round table, throwing camel turds, for as we all know in those days bullshit was unknown
In rode David on a tall stud horse, in strode the king in diamond studded jock strap
"Ho" cried David,
"What Ho" cried the king,
"Assho" cried David, thus scoring one for the common people
"Where's the princess" queried David,
"She's up in bed with Diptheria" stated the king
"What is that damn greek son of bitch back again?" cried David, 
For his impudence he was thrown into the lair of the mangy beast
He circled the mangy beast and grabbed it squarely by the left nut,
"Ouch" cried the beast "that tickles"
"What tickles" queried David,
"Testickle's" cried the mangy beast thus scoring one for the mangy beast
David squeezed and the beast shit at random, but random ducked and the shit hit the king.
"Aw SHIT" cried the king
And suddenly thirty-thousand loyal subjects all fell to the ground and grunted to their utmost for as we all know in those days the king's word was law.
David squeezed harder and the beast died.
 For his valor he was called forth but he slipped on a camel turd and came in fifth and yet the princess was not to be found
 "WHERE'S THE PRINCESS!" cried David,
"Aw SCREW the princess" cried the king,
And that my friends is how thirty thousand loyal subjects
All died in a mad rush to reach the princesses bed chambers for as we all know in those days the kings word was law.

tra la