The first is this: There was this house full of raging alcoholics.  I mean, street drunks that would gather and booze it up.  One of them had a job while the others were boozing late into the night.  One warning was not enough for them to shut up so he could sleep.  His next warning was with him coming out of the bedroom with a .38 revolver down by his thigh.  When brandishing the gun did not work and only ended with roars of laughter at their goofy friend with the gun.  The man with the gun started stomping wildly like a 12-year-old that just discovered a pogo stick, while telling them to get the fuck out, and with one stomp too many, he accidentally pulled the trigger and shot himself in the leg hitting his femoral artery. 

Now, imagine a scene straight out of Goodfellas where all the gangsters laugh their asses off at their stupid friend shooting himself as they go back to their own boozing and card playing, while laughing at their friend that just slid down the wall. 

So they continue boozing and throwing jabs at their buddy until a bit later one of them says to the other how "I don't know; he don't look too good." Then another, "That is a lot of blood."  And a, "He's just asleep, right."

And, by the time the ambulance was called, it was just too late.

On the second one, there were these two nasty, nasty gangbangers.  One had a 7.62 semiautomatic rifle and the other a .380 semi-auto handgun.  The guy with the rifle told the other to go out front and stand on the sidewalk and when he shoots into the house from the rear, he was to shoot the people inside when they ran out the front door.

The fucker with the rifle even had two banana clips, with one taped to the other just like in the war movies so the magazine can be removed and flipped and reinserted with a fully loaded magazine.  And this SOB fired them both dry.

Now, you can see where this is going, right?  But, ah, there are two places where it is going (and with a bit of truly morbid cop humor).

So, this shot-up house was an older, clapboard house with no insulation and the backyard was raised with a sloping front yard. 

After the dude with the rifle fired his rounds and after not hearing any shots from out front, he ran to the front and found his compadre face down on the sidewalk, pistol still in hand and not dead from a bullet to the forehead. He then took off and ditched the gun. 

Of course, the joke of the night went, "Hey, what was the last thing going through "Dipshit gangbanger So and So's mind" ? "Lead."

Later, when the pal killer was identified and located, he claimed to have tossed the gun in a nearby river.  While being interrogated, the detective forcibly told the guy he needed to tell them where the gun was if he hid so that some kid wouldn't find it and shoot him or herself.  Under intense questioning, the guy relented and told the detective it was hidden under a porch and told him where while crying about how he "killed my boy, killed my BOY!"

The rifle was recovered and for good measure, the detective returned to the interrogation room with the guy and showed him the rifle.  The guy replied how it was found where he said it was, right?  And the detective lied and told him, "Fuck no.  A kid found the fucking thing and blew his fucking brains out!"

And from what I recall, this turd was left with the thought not only of how he killed his co-gang member but also was responsible for further harm.