I do believe in ghosts in that I do feel my life is haunted. Not in a bad way, but haunted by my memories, my loves, losses, hopes, regrets and dreams. 

I have become convinced that life is a two-sided coin, beauty on one side and chaos on the other. We, or many of us, wanting to stay on the beauty side but being very aware of the chaos side. As we age we also become more and more accepting of the idea that the chaos is not going anywhere, and we have to struggle not to allow it to consume us. We learn to live with it being there in the same way the sun continues to rise and set.

I talk to my ghosts; they talk to me. The longer we live the more ghosts we have that speak to us. Love is a respite from the raging storm. Enjoy the warm embrace, the kind word, the gentle soul. They are gifts that hopefully steel you for the tasks ahead. 

I understand now, fully, the melancholy of a man like Kurt Vonnegut toward his end. The bitter understanding of how simple the choice was for us but so many refused to make it. Beauty or chaos and the coin spinning in the air.