George Bush returns to Booker Elementary School to talk to the kids to get a little PR. After his talk he offers question time.

One little boy puts up his hand and George asks him his name.

"Stanley," responds the little boy.

"And what is your question, Stanley?"

"I have three questions. First, why are you President when Al Gore and John Kerry got more votes? Second, why did you just keep reading that book about pet goats? And third, why was Cheney there holding your hand and the Commissioners weren’t allowed to take notes?"

Just then, the bell rings for recess. George Bush informs the kiddies that they will continue after recess.

When they resume George says, "OK, where were we? Oh, that's right: Question time. Who has a question?"

Another little boy puts up his hand. George points him out and asks him his name.

"Bobby," he responds.

"And what is your question, Bobby?"

"Actually, I have five questions. Why are you President when Al Gore and John Kerry got more votes? Second, why did you just keep reading that book about pet goats? Third, why was Cheney there holding your hand and the Commissioners weren’t allowed to take notes? Fourth, why did the recess bell go off twenty minutes early? And fifth, what the hell happened to Stanley?"

###

A man turned to the woman seated next to him on an airplane and said, “What’s that book you’re reading?”

“The New Pearl Harbor by David Ray Griffin.”

“What’s it about?”

“It’s about how the Bush Administration orchestrated the 9/11 attacks so they could invade the Middle East.”

The man’s jaw dropped, his face slowly turned red, and he said “That’s so ridiculous it’s not even worth discussing.” Silence.

The woman said, "Okay, then. A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat grass. The same stuff. Yet a deer excretes little pellets while a cow turns out a flat patty, and a horse produces clumps of dried grass. Why do you suppose that is?"

"Jeez," said the man. "I have no idea."

"Well, then," the woman said, "How is it that you think you know what happened on 9/11 when you don't know shit?”

###

Donald Rumsfeld, Dick Cheney and George W. Bush are court-martialed for 9/11 high crimes and dragged before a firing squad. Donald Rumsfeld is first placed against the wall, and just before the order to shoot him is given, he yells, "Earthquake!" The firing squad falls into a panic and Rumsfeld jumps over the wall and escapes in the confusion.

Dick Cheney is the second one placed against the wall. The squad is reassembled and Dick ponders what his old pal Rummy has done. Before the order to shoot is given, Cheney yells, "Tornado!" Again the squad falls apart and Cheney slips over the wall.

The last person, George W. Bush, is placed against the wall. He is thinking, "I see the pattern here, just scream out a disaster and hop over the wall." As the firing squad is reassembled and the rifles raised in his direction, he grins his famous grin and yells, "Fire!"