David, that blew me away that you shared that with us. i read it over and over and marveled at you. um, thanks? (to say the least...)

i was overcome about three weeks ago, totally out of the blue. i awoke before sunset after a short nap, and was listening to Suzanne Vega's Blood Makes Noise ('i think that you might want to know the details and the facts but there's something in my blood denies the memories of the acts...so just forget it, doc, i think it's really cool that you're concerned but we'll have to try again after the silence has returned...cause blood makes noise, it's ringing in my ears...'), and all of a sudden, breakdown central. some of it certainly felt like part of reawakening/regaining the feeling of being myself after almost two years of post-divorce misery, but it felt like more than that (finally). but what? tears of relief for the waning of the darkness? for friends, lovers and youth lost?  for the state of this world and this human condition? probably all.

it sneaks up on you in the most unexpected of times and places. i don't go looking for it anymore, but i don't fight it anymore, either. i just let it go. it's healthier that way and oftentimes the best medicine. some tears are a gift.

Hiatt gets the last words:

is this a place i can rest my poor head

to gather my thoughts in sweet silence

is this a place where the feelings aren't dead

from an overexposure to violence

and is this a place i can slowly face

the only one i truly can know

these are tears from a long time ago

i've got these tears from a long time ago

i need to cry 30 years or so

these are tears from a long time ago

oh darling oh darling, you say unto me

where have you been all my lifetime

well i have been swimming the seven sad seas

fair women have thrown me their lifelines

and i just pulled 'em in to the water's dark grin

i'd have warned them but i didn't know...

well i cried me a river, i cried me a lake

i cried til the past nearly drowned me

tears for sad consequence

tears for mistakes

but never these tears that surround me

alone in this place with a lifetime to trace

and a heartbeat that tells me it's so

i've got these tears from a long time ago

these are tears from a long time ago

and i need to cry 30 years or so

these are tears from a long time ago

these are tears from a long time ago

i've got these tears from a long time ago

~stay human~